Put an End to Painful Sex
Pain with sex is a topic that most women don’t feel comfortable talking about, but today we are going there in order to help women put an end to painful sex! And no, we are NOT going to tell you to just give it time, have another glass of wine, take a hot bath to relax, or any of the other bad advice that is floating around out there. Nothing makes us feel worse at Revitalize Physical Therapy than to hear a woman tell us that she hasn’t been able to have sex for months and has just been told to “loosen up and relax more.” To be blunt, this is ridiculous, and this bad advice needs to stop because it only makes the problem worse rather than offering helpful solutions to put an end to painful sex.
Over 50% of women experience pain with sex!
Painful sex is a common problem for women and can happen at any time during your life. While pregnancy and perimenopause seem to exacerbate these issues, if you are experiencing pain with sex, just know that it is not normal. And luckily, there are things you can do to put an end to painful sex!
But first, let’s talk quickly about different causes for pain…
Reasons for Pain:
Scar Tissue
If you had any vaginal tearing or an episiotomy during delivery, this would result in scar tissue as the area heals. Scar tissue is a normal response of the body to heal an injury, but it can also be problematic. It often is painful or tender to the touch, so a woman can feel pain more externally or upon penetration from scar tissue within the superficial muscles. The more severe the tearing, the deeper the scar tissue goes. So, pain can be felt deeper as well, as the scar tissue extends into the deeper layers. If you had a Cesarean section, you could also be affected by scar tissue at your incision. This can lead to pain in the perineum or pelvic floor.
Trigger Points
I want you to think back to a time when you slept weirdly and woke up with a sore neck. Can you picture how painful the neck felt and how it would radiate pain all the way up to your head or down to your shoulder blade? That trigger point is a knot within the muscle that can send pain elsewhere. Most people don’t realize that you can also get trigger points within the pelvic floor muscles that can lead to pain.
Many times, the pain is felt during intercourse when pressure is applied to the trigger point. They can also send pain to other locations, including the groin, hip, or low back region. If the pelvic floor muscles are overactive and tight, they can also be tender when you put pressure on them. We often work with women who have trigger points and tight, tender pelvic floor muscles, causing pain during intercourse. Manually releasing these with gentle pressure alleviates the pain that most feel during intercourse.
Hormone Changes
Estrogen, the main female sex hormone, greatly impacts our tissues. During postpartum and menopause, estrogen levels are commonly low. This leads to muscle atrophy of the pelvic floor muscles and vaginal tissue, dryness, decreased blood flow, and decreased elasticity of the tissue. Basically, it makes the tissue more fragile and more susceptible to abrasions and tears. It also makes it more susceptible to pain. Because of this, women tend to have painful sex during these stages of their life.
Vaginismus and Vulvodynia
Vaginismus and vulvodynia are pelvic pain conditions that are less common than scar tissue and trigger points. But they can be extremely limiting for those suffering from them. Both conditions are considered chronic pelvic pain, and their cause is often complex.
Vaginismus is a condition where the superficial pelvic floor muscles spasm, making the vaginal opening very constricted. This often causes severe pain upon penetration. And the woman is likely unable to tolerate any intercourse or penetration.
Vulvodynia is a condition where the woman feels pain near the entrance of the vagina that can be pinpointed to a specific location or sometimes more diffuse. This is not to be confused with scar tissue because the cause of vulvodynia tends to be nerve entrapment. Both of these conditions can be complex to get rid of, but treatment options are available if you suffer from them.
How to Put an End to Painful Sex:
Eat Healthy Fats
Healthy fats are used as the building blocks for our sex hormones. By ensuring you have an adequate amount of good, healthy fat (no, I’m not talking about cheese curds), you will provide your body with what it needs to produce sex hormones. This can help boost estrogen and testosterone in order to help improve your vaginal tissue.
Use a Symptom Tracker
Having pain with sex can be complex in nature, and there are several different causes. Tracking your symptoms can help you identify specific patterns to your pain or if your pain is linked to certain sex positions, clothing, foods that you’re eating, or products that you’re using.
Release the Pelvic Floor Muscles
As mentioned above, the pelvic floor muscles can be tight, and there may be scar tissue and trigger points causing pain. Releasing them will greatly reduce your symptoms and end painful sex. Using a pelvic wand is helpful to do this on your own otherwise, pelvic floor physical therapy often addresses these issues.
Watch our video on how to use a pelvic wand if you want to try it yourself.Introduce a Vaginal Moisturizer
Vaginal moisturizer is kind of like putting on lotion on your lady parts. It helps restore moisture to the tissue and “plump” the tissue more. This can be super helpful if your estrogen levels are low and the tissue is more fragile. It can also help if you have been getting irritation in the area.
Our favorite is Intimate Rose Enchanted Rose Balm. Use promo code “BRENDA” to get $5 off your order! ORDER INTIMATE ROSE.
What Next?
Because there are several different potential causes for pain with intercourse, it is best to have an evaluation by a pelvic floor physical therapist to determine your exact cause. It is also difficult to treat these issues on your own since there aren’t any specific exercises that will eliminate the pain. However, I want to stress that most women find relief within a few sessions of physical therapy. And most find improvement to a point where they can have sex without pain. It is not something that you have to deal with and tolerate. It's not something that you just need to give more time to in hopes that the pain magically goes away. It is not something that is all in your head, and you don’t just need to relax more. Your pain is real, and treatment options are available to help you get rid of it.